Guy-Gone Weird
Guy-Gone Weird was an Expendable Jebi Knight during the waning days of the Galactic Democracy. He was apprenticed to Ma'at Foh-Lay, and mentored Only-One Cannotbe. He was considered clumsy, ineffective and troublesome by his Jebi peers. Guy-Gone employed very unusual teaching methods, such as role switching. He also had a tendency to crash or destroy ships by accident, as he ultimately did with the Eon Vulture. Weird was tasked with finding the missing congressman Lon Jennon, but instead discovered the Spiff Order. Following his encounter with the Spiff, he decided not to return to Croissant and eventually wound up with Sprint Render and Typhon aboard the Rusty Eagle. Together they foiled another Spiff plot by Dharth Bob, but the event led Guy-Gone to leave the Jebi Order. Biography UNDER CONSTRUCTION Early Life Expendable Jebi Guy-Gone was trained as a Jebi by Ma'at Foh-Lay. Foh-Lay's unusual "motivational training" led Guy-Gone to become an exceptionally useless Jebi. After his training was complete he was named an Expendable Jebi Knight. Taking an Apprentice Guy-Gone was assigned Only-One Cannotbe as his first and only apprentice. Despite Only-One's skill and intelligence, he was assigned to Guy-Gone by Count Dubious in hopes of "dumbing him down". With his first apprentice, Guy-Gone employed some new and highly radical teaching methods. One of them was the "role switch", where he would periodically tell Only-One that he was now the master and would force Only-One to make the decisions for the pair. At first, Only-One didn't understand the purpose or usefulness of the method, but later accepted it as a form of situational training. First Crash Stranded on Blogden Not long after Only-One was first assigned as Guy-Gone's apprentice, the two were tasked with a secret mission to Taboo by Supreme Pitza Decorum. Due to some disagreements between Representative Lon Jennon and a political faction, Jebi assistance was required. Along the way, however, Guy-Gone took the controls of the transport and crashed it on the planet Blogden. Since then Guy-Gone was required to be flown to his missions by Spacefleet officers. On Blogden, the two found lodging at a local motel. The owner asked if they had been sent to stop "the madman", who had been out on a murderous rampage since he arrived. Guy-Gone said he'd look into it during their stay. They were eventually contacted by Decorum via stellargram, and given more details about their mission. Additionally, a package was sent by Janitor Pulpyjuice. Guy-Gone mistakenly threw out the box, thinking it contained only foam peanuts, when in fact it contained a bomb meant to kill them, which instead killed Rig'ur Mortuus, who happened to be passing by. Unbeknownst to the two, Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist and Dharth Very Insidious were in the next room, conspiring the downfall of Dharth Bolshevik, and plotting to use Dharth Bob's rampage as a reason to retrain him under Very Insidious. Investigating the Murderer With a transport on the way, the two killed some time by investigating the rampage. They only turned up dead ends, until they met with an informant who had also been tracking the murderer. Pooling their resources, they tracked him to a complex, where he engaged them in a brief laserfoil duel, before getting away. With the transport outside, the two left Blogden for Taboo. However, in their abscense, a conflict had broken out, and Captain Plainway had been sent to settle it instead. They were contacted by the Jebi Council and informed that their mission had been canceled. The two then returned to Croissant. Years later, the story of these events were retold to Typhon by Guy-Gone, with some embellishment. The Spiff Revealed Search for Lon Jennon Years later, congressman Lon Jennon of Taboo went missing, seemingly kidnapped. Supreme Pitza Decorum consulted with the Jebi Council and decided that the matter was relatively unimportant and would require only Expendable Jebi Knights. Assigned to locate the missing congressman, Guy-Gone hired the not-so-famous Captain Typhon to ferry himself and his apprentice in their search. One day, while cooking macaroni, Guy-Gone had a revelation that Jennon was being held on the park planet Daftooine. Upon arrival, Guy-Gone was contacted by Jebi Master Coda, who gave the two permission to use any actions or means to rescue the congressman safely. Not understanding what he said, Guy-Gone ended the transmission, took the controls of the ship, and accidentally crashed the ship on the planet's surface. 13th Annual Company Sparring Picnic The crash did not go unnoticed. The Spiff lord Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist saw the crash, but dismissed it as a part of the festivities. Unbeknowst to Guy-Gone they had stumbled into the location of the ancient Spiff Order's 13th Annual Company Sparring Picnic. Sensed by Dharth Bolshevik, the two Jebi fled at incredible speed, and when engaging Spiff Guards, were separated. Meeting Shawn Duet After defeating several Guards, Guy-Gone fell to the ground, having violently hit...nothing. In fact, he had stumbled upon the Eon Vulture, a cloaked cargo ship belonging to smuggler Shawn Duet. Duet confronted the intruder, not wanting to bother with anyone but himself. However, he fell under the reverse psychology of Guy-Gone's Jebi mind trick, and agreed to transport the Jebi and his apprentice to Croissant. Escape from Daftooine Aboard the Eon Vulture, Guy-Gone located Only-One in the middle of a duel with Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist. Opening a door, he violently pushed the Spiff directly in the face, knocking him to the ground, which allowed the two Jebi to escape in the Eon Vulture. Dharth Bolshevik feared for the possibility that the Spiff would be revealed to the Jebi order before they were ready, and dispatched a squadron of fighters to pursue. With its weapons disabled in an earlier encounter, the Eon Vulture was no match for the fighters. Just when all hope seemed lost, a small fleet of smugglers and pirates emerged from hyperbolaspace to aid the Eon Vulture. The group was led by Sprint Render, a friend of Shawn Duet, and fellow rogue. The fleet was able to destroy all but two fighters, though suffering casualties of their own. Confronted about owing Sprint money, however, Duet fled. Unknown to them all, Dharth Tyrannical-Fascist followed in his Spiff Interloper. Change of Direction While en route to Croissant, Guy-Gone and Only-One formally met Shawn Duet and his co-pilot Mobacca. He explained why his ship was cloaked all the time, and why he was on the run. He also warned Guy-Gone about a defect in the ship - that if the toilet is backed up and the stove is left on, it would create a chain reaction, destroying the ship. While Guy-Gone was away, Only-One was contacted by Count Dubious, who ordered them to the Taboo system. The ship changed course to Taboo, right into Dharth Bolshevik's trap. Apocalyptic Battle Landing outside the Atrium Complex on Taboo, Guy-Gone, Only-One and Duet left the Eon Vulture only to have it violently explode due to the chain reaction malfunction caused by Guy-Gone. Pressing on, the three reached the entrance to the building, where Guy-Gone reclaimed his master role out of concern for impending danger. Before they could enter, a cloaked Spiff lord, Dharth Bob, confronted the three. Assuring Duet that they could handle the Spiff, he ran off to the side of the building. The two Jebi engaged Bob in a 2-on-1 duel throughout the complex. Their fight led them throughout the building and the upper levels, and down through the atrium, where they were briefly interrupted by a passer-by. The fight led them to a series of automatic impenetrable doors, and each combatant found themselves trapped between the doors. During the break, Guy-Gone dropped his laserfoil and began to meditate. Death As the doors opened, Guy-Gone burst outside to fight Dharth Bob. His apprentice was still trapped, however, and forced to watch. Guy-Gone warned Bob that were he struck down he would become more pitiful that before. Suddenly, Bob caught Guy-Gone in a laserfoil lock, pushed him to the ground and stabbed him in the chest. Distraught, Only-One watched as Guy-Gone faded into nothing, leaving only his clothes, while Dharth Bob laughed and danced, taunting him. Return The doors opened again and Only-One angrily dueled Bob. He was knocked down during the duel and in a last-ditch effort, pulled Guy-Gone's laserfoil to him, swiping at Dharth Bob's pants and causing them to drop. Ashamed, Bob ran off into the wilderness. Only-One looked up to find Dharth Bolshevik. Realizing that he and Count Dubious were one and the same, he found himself the recipient of deadly Spiff Lightning. Low on power, Bolshevik pulled out a large gun and prepared to shoot Only-One, but was interrupted by tapping on his shoulder. Spinning around to see who was causing the annoyance, he found Guy-Gone dressed in casual clothes who knocked him out cold with Dharth Bob's laserfoil hilt. Guy-Gone informed Only-One that the new Supreme Pitza, Pulpyjuice, had asked them to return to Croissant. Shocked and surprised, Only-One asked how he was alive, to which Guy-Gone replied that the one who died was actually one of his many clones. As Duet, Typhon and Mobacca reunited with them, they watched as dozens of Guy-Gone's clones marched along a nearby street. On His Own Joining up with Sprint Some time after this, Guy-Gone, as well as former Captain Typhon, found themselves in the company of Sprint Render aboard his ship, the Rusty Eagle. Typhon had left Spacefleet and become Sprint's co-pilot, and Guy-Gone hired the two to fly him to his missions. However, he grew distant from the Order, and refused to check in regularly. Return to Daftooine Approximately three years after the Incident on Taboo, the Rusty Eagle came under attack by a large battleship. Barely escaping, the ship jumped to the nearest planet - Daftooine. While there, Sprint and Guy-Gone set out to travel to a nearby supply depot to get a crucial part needed to get the ship flying again. Typhon, was asked to stay and there he discovered a strange game device. Duel with Dharth Bob On the way back from the depot, Guy-Gone and Sprint suddenly found themselves under attack by Dharth Bob and several Spiff Guards. They fought their way back to the ship, and crossed paths with Typhon, who was seemingly too swept up in the game to even notice. As Dharth Bob's fleet arrived in orbit and gunships of Spiff Troopers dropped from the sky, Guy-Gone and Sprint stopped fighting and ran back to the ship. Hastily fixing the ship, they started it up and prepared to take off, waiting until Typhon finally returned after beating the game and stumbling. Cypress III Attack Years later, following a string of jobs and missions, the crew of the Rusty Eagle decided to take a break on the planet Cypress III. There, Guy-Gone was contacted again by Maigus, new Grand Master of the Jebi Order, demanding he return, just as he had been contacted before over the past five years. He shared his frustration with Sprint, who suggested that perhaps the Jebi Order was not Guy-Gone's true place in the galaxy. Their talk was interrupted however, by a sudden attack from behind. Barely dodging it, they turned to face the attacker - a bounty hunter. Paralyzed The two fought the bounty hunter, but he pulled out a small remote device that caught both Sprint and Guy-Gone in a paralyzing field. The bounty hunter then left the two, saying that he'd be back after he captured their companion, Typhon. While caught in the field, Guy-Gone struggled against the hold of the field to reach the anti-paralyzer device on his belt. With both freed, he told Sprint to return to the ship and prepare for immediate takeoff, while he would find Typhon. Duel with Rhast Nearby, Typhon had already been captured by the bounty hunter, who was escorting him to his own ship at gunpoint. Sensing their approach, Guy-Gone hid behind a tree, and caught the bounty hunter, holding his laserfoil to his neck. Typhon was able to escape towards the Rusty Eagle, but the bounty hunter surprised Guy-Gone by pulling out his own laserfoil and dueling him. Their duel led them to a nearby bridge where they fought and knocked each other to the ground. The duel continued on the ground, and upright again. The bounty hunter attempted to paralyze Guy-Gone again, but the Jebi quickly grabbed the device. The bounty hunter pulled the device back, but Guy-Gone countered it, leading to a pulling fight over the device. Finally, it flew away from both of them, back towards where the fight began. Guy-Gone also threw the bounty hunter's laserfoil hilt into the sky. Now having the advantage, Guy-Gone forced the bounty hunter back across the bridge, where his hilt fell from the sky to him and the duel continued. Guy-Gone finally got up on a large rock, claiming the high ground advantage. The bounty hunter attacked him and injured his legs. Guy-Gone moved back in pain as Sprint arrived and began to shoot at the bounty hunter. As Typhon arrived, he threw a small grenade at the bounty hunter which shorted out most of his gear. Sprint, seeing the paralyzer remote on the ground near him, grabbed it and paralyzed the bounty hunter. However, he broke free and attacked Typhon, who had just taunted him. Typhon finally kicked the bounty hunter in the nuts and used Sprint's gun to shoot him repeatedly. More Questions than Answers Leaving the bounty hunter for dead, the three returned to the Rusty Eagle. They were left with many questions - Who was the bounty hunter? Who hired him? Why was there a bounty on them? How did the hunter have Jebi powers? Typhon was troubled by his rash actions in killing Rhast, and Guy-Gone consoled him, believing that he may be back, and that their two destinies were somehow intertwined. Search for Rhast To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler! Mission to Twilight Station To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler! Orders to Return To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler! New Weapon To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler! Reunited with Duet To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler! Escape from the Station To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler! Ambush over Geneosmosis To be revealed in Return of the Smuggler! Confronting Rhast To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium! Rematch with Rhast To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium! Dharth Bob's Revenge To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium! Running the Blockade To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium! Going Rogue To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium! Personality & Traits Powers & Abilities Guy-Gone was considered an Expendable Jebi Knight for a reason - he was generally very unskilled in nearly every aspect of being a Jebi, save for his abilities. One of his biggest problems involved a tendency to severely damage or destroy any ship he came into contact with. Nearly every occassion he was presented this happened - he crashed Typhon's transport cruiser on Daftooine, destroyed the Eon Vulture, crashed the Rusty Eagle on Geneosmosis, and lost the Eon Vulture II. He finally learned to use this accidental tendency to his advantage when he crashed the Dictator's command ship into the Doom Ball. Swordfighting Guy-Gone's swordfighting skills were poor, often slow and defensive. Guy-Gone was frequently defeated in duels, as was the case with his duel with Dharth Bob on Taboo, and his rematch with Rhast on Geneosmosis. Despite this, somehow he trained his apprentice Only-One Cannotbe to be a decent swordsman. Jebi Powers While Guy-Gone's swordsmanship was terrible, he did have a strong focus of Jebi abilities. Guy-Gone often employed some of the more unusual Jebi abilities, such as Jebi speed, the Jebi reverse mind trick, and the "old Jebi switcheroo". Guy-Gone's future counterpart was also quite adept at the Jebi mind merge, using it on his younger self. During a battle with Rhast, Guy-Gone successfully held his own in a telekinetic struggle for Rhast's paralyzer device. During a time when Guy-Gone temporarily lost his Jebi abilities, he found himself much less successful in battle. Laserfoils and Weapons Guy-Gone Weird's laserfoil The Laserglaive Outfits Jebi Outfit Guy-Gone wore standard issue Jebi robes and tunic, starting early on with a white under-tunic, and later switching to grey after the Cypress III incident. He wore a large belt with the Democracy logo on it, which held his laserfoil and several other items. Guy-Gone's tunic was actually made of bedsheets and pillowcases. His original robe was a cheap halloween costume robe, but he later switched to Only-One's larger robe for the short films. The belt is actually a weight lifting belt worn backwards. The brand and logo are unmarked and completely unknown, and for that reason became the Democracy logo, which can also be somewhat glimpsed on Supreme Pitza Decorum's congress podium and Guy-Gone's anti-paralyzer device. Rogue Outfit To be revealed in Dark Equilibrium! Vacation Outfit When surprisingly reappearing on Taboo, Guy-Gone sported a casual look with a colorful shirt and shades. This costume is very simply Matt wearing the shirt and pants of his costume, with a hawaiian-like shirt and Sean's/Ryan's shades. In the special edition he added a custom made NX-01 Star Trek Enterprise hat at the very end. Alternate Timeline *''Main article: Alternate Timeline'' Behind the Scenes Guy-Gone Weird was played by Matt Gilbert. He is a parody of Qui-Gon Jinn, and later on, Kyle Katarn. In the earlier footage from'' Spoof Wars'', Guy-Gone had longer hair, and the Jebi braid was traded between himself and Only-One. Starting with Typhon, he grew his beard out more, and traded in his cheap, smaller robe for Sean's larger custom robe used by Only-One in the first film. The robe was a little long on Matt, and a few bloopers feature him tripping over the robe. Starting with Shadows of the Democracy, it was heavily referenced and shown that Guy-Gone was a poor swordsman, as the first film's choreography for him was sparse and on-the-spot, focusing more on Only-One and Dharth Bob, along with improperly weighted fighting props. This was originally partially intended, showing that Guy-Gone was supposed to be terrible, but it didn't come across that easily on-screen. For the sequels, his fighting style became more comedic and silly, rather than fast and showy. It was decided in Dark Equilibrium that Guy-Gone would break away from the full Jebi Order. This would allow Matt less swordfights, and more opportunites to work behind the scenes, should any further installments be made. Guy-Gone has appeared in every live-action installment in the Spoof Wars series, except The Rigors of Mortuus. Cancelled Sequels Guy-Gone was planned to be included in all three cancelled sequel attempts, in some capacity. In The Approaching Fury he would have gotten drunk at the Eon Vulture II christening party, then suddenly be hit by the opening crawl. Fatally wounded, he would have admitted he was a terrible swordsman to Only-One and died. His voice would have helped guide Shawn Duet in the movie, and his ghost would have appeared at the end ofSpoof Wars Episode XCVI: Revenge of the Jebi Revenge of the Jebi. His ghost would have had a seat on the Jebi Council in The Hidden Reprisal, though only for the first scene. It was generally intended that this time the real Guy-Gone would die, rather than a clone. Guy-Gone's clones also would have served as officers, an army and even a couple Jebi Council members in all three films. Guy-Gone was not set to appear in the first version of The Adventures of Shawn Duet. In the second version, he would have joined the Jebi Council, then left to run a small outpost, where he would invent various gadgets the heroes would use, much like Q from 007. Appearances *Spoof Wars Origins: First Crash *Spoof Wars Episode XII: The Dubious Maneuver (First appearance) *Typhon (film) *Shadows of the Democracy *Return of the Smuggler *Dark Equilibrium *Spoof Wars Episode XLVII: The Plot Strikes Back Category:Males Category:Humans Category:Jebi Category:Rogue Jebi Category:Jebi Knights Category:Resistance Jebi Category:Galactic Resistance members